Unsilence Grief: My Journey from Domestic Violence to Becoming The Global Butterfly
By Katie Joy The Global Butterfly
Life is a series of transformational moments, each carrying lessons that shape who we are and who we become. For me, one of the most defining journeys began in the depths of despair, navigating a toxic marriage and rediscovering my self-worth. From domestic violence to financial and emotional independence, my story is one of grief, healing, and transformation. This journey ultimately led me to become “The Global Butterfly”—a guide for others seeking a soul-aligned life.
Recently, I had the privilege of sharing this journey on Marie Alessi’s inspiring podcast, Unsilence Grief. Marie’s platform is dedicated to giving voice to the unspoken pain of grief while highlighting the transformative power of hope. You can watch the full interview here or listen to it on Spotify here.
In this article, I’ll share the key moments from my story and expand on the lessons I’ve learned, in the hope that it inspires and empowers you to take your own steps towards healing and transformation.
Acknowledging the Grief of a Toxic Relationship
Grief comes in many forms. While most people associate it with the loss of a loved one, grief can also stem from the loss of self—the person you used to be before trauma, betrayal, or abuse. In my case, I found myself trapped in a marriage that eroded my sense of identity.
My then-husband and I relocated to a remote mining town, where I was isolated from my family, friends, and passions. What began as a partnership built on promises devolved into a life of control, manipulation, and even violence. As I shared in my interview with Marie, the trust I had placed in my partner was shattered. The grief wasn’t just about losing the relationship; it was about losing the vision of the life I thought we were building together.
The Breaking Point: Choosing Myself Over Fear
The turning point came during one particularly violent incident. Despite years of enduring manipulation and control, that night made it clear that my life was in danger. Leaving wasn’t an easy decision. As many survivors of domestic violence know, the fear of the unknown often feels scarier than the certainty of abuse.
But I realised something vital: staying would cost me everything. So I chose to prioritise myself for the first time in years. I documented everything—dates, times, incidents—to protect myself legally and emotionally. This meticulous documentation, along with the support of compassionate police officers, gave me the courage to take the first step towards freedom.
For anyone in a similar situation, I cannot stress enough the importance of having a safety net. Document your experiences, share them with trusted people, and seek professional support. As I told Marie during the podcast, "Make your rock bottom higher." Don’t wait until you’re completely depleted to take action.
Rebuilding from the Ground Up
Leaving the relationship was only the beginning. I faced financial and emotional challenges as I worked to rebuild my life. At the time I got married, I inherited significant debt—a quarter of a million dollars—but over the course of six years, I turned it into $1.3 million in net worth. When we separated, my half amounted to $650,000. Rebuilding from there, I achieved a remarkable milestone: growing that $650,000 back to $1.3 million within six months.
This time, the process felt lighter. Without the resistance and conflict that had anchored me during the relationship, I had the freedom to focus fully on my vision and goals. Using my background in property investment and manifestation techniques, I reclaimed my power and created a life aligned with my values and dreams.
One of the key tools I used was creating a clear vision of my empowered future self. By visualising what I wanted—not just materially but emotionally and spiritually—I was able to make intentional decisions that aligned with that vision. As I shared with Marie, this practice became the foundation for the coaching work I do today.
Finding Purpose Through Transformation
After leaving my career as a paramedic and my toxic marriage, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery. What started as a planned three-month trip to “find myself” turned into a four-year global adventure, spanning seven continents and 58 countries. During this time, I invested in personal growth, studying business, marketing, and various healing modalities.
While travel was liberating, the true transformation came from going inward. I realised that the external exploration was merely a distraction from the inner work I needed to do. Confronting my grief, shame, and fear allowed me to heal and rediscover my authentic self. This is why I am so passionate about helping others do the same through my coaching and programmes.
The Five Key Assets for Rebuilding Your Life
During the interview with Marie, I outlined five key assets that helped me rebuild my life after leaving my marriage. These are:
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Knowledge: Invest in learning new skills and understanding your options.
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Skills: Leverage your existing strengths and develop new ones to create opportunities.
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Network: Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift and inspire you.
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Resources: Assess and utilise the resources you have at your disposal.
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Reputation: Build trust with yourself and others by consistently showing up as your authentic self.
These assets are not only practical tools but also reminders of your inherent value and ability to create a life that aligns with your dreams.
How Grief Became My Superpower
As painful as grief can be, it also holds transformative potential. By embracing my grief rather than suppressing it, I was able to uncover hidden strengths and a deeper sense of purpose. Today, I use those experiences to guide others through their own transformations, whether they’re navigating toxic relationships, career transitions, or personal growth.
In my work as a coach and mentor, I help clients reconnect with their higher selves, trust their intuition, and manifest a soul-aligned life. My signature GGA Method™—Gratitude, Gains, and Appreciation—is the backbone of my coaching philosophy, empowering people to raise their vibration and align with their true purpose.
Acknowledging and Appreciating Marie Alessi
I want to take a moment to express my heartfelt gratitude to Marie Alessi for giving me the opportunity to share my story on her podcast, Unsilence Grief. Marie’s platform is a beacon of light for those navigating the complexities of grief, providing a safe space for transformative conversations.
You can learn more about Marie and her incredible work by visiting her website here and subscribing to her YouTube channel here. Her mission to help people heal and grow through grief is truly inspiring, and I’m honoured to have been part of her community.
Watch the Full Interview
To hear the full details of my journey, including actionable tips for reclaiming your life after grief or trauma, I invite you to watch my interview with Marie Alessi below:
Watch on YouTube
Listen on Spotify
Final Thoughts: Trust Yourself and Take the Leap
If there’s one message I hope you take away from my story, it’s this: trust yourself. The path to healing and transformation begins with a single step towards honouring your worth and potential. No matter how dark your circumstances may feel, there is always light waiting to be uncovered within you.
If you’re ready to take that step, I’m here to guide you. Explore the resources and coaching programmes available throughout this website, and don’t miss out on my free 33-page workbook, Setting Your Intentions: Clarify Your Goals To Create Your Best Year Yet! This powerful guide is designed to help you take the first steps toward a more intentional and fulfilling life. to learn more about my coaching programmes, tools, and resources. Together, we can create a life that aligns with your highest self.
Thank you for allowing me to share my journey. And thank you again to Marie Alessi for creating such a powerful platform to unsilence grief and amplify hope.
With love and transformation,
Katie Joy
