Do you sometimes struggle to ask for help or accept help from others? If so, this article is for you. I’m Katie Joy, founder of Global Butterfly and host of the "Awakened With Love and Rise With Pure Joy" podcast. Today, I want to share something that is so close to the hearts of many of my clients, and it’s something I talk about a lot. So, let’s dive in and address this combined issue of asking for help and receiving help. If you’re struggling with one, you’re definitely struggling with the other—they're like co-joined twins.

Why We Struggle to Ask for Help

What’s the root cause of not asking for help? Why do so many of us find it so difficult? There’s a lot of programming underneath this issue. Usually, if you’re struggling to ask for help, you tend to think it’s better if you do it yourself. You might feel that you can’t trust anyone else to do the job properly. This mindset is often rooted in past experiences of being let down or not being able to rely on others.

This strong sense of independence can be quite limiting and, dare I say, dysfunctional. It can prevent you from moving forward effectively. When you’re tied up doing all the work for everyone else, it creates a breeding ground for resentment. This negative energy, even if it’s passive or hidden under a ‘good girl’ or ‘good boy’ mask, will still be there. It’s a low-frequency energy that saps all the energy you could be using for creating.

The Cost of Independence

Being constantly busy, hustling, and grinding can make you feel productive, but it comes at a great cost. You might even feel quite separate from your relationships, despite being ‘close.’ This false sense of closeness can add to the stress and strain of doing everything yourself.

But why is it not only difficult to ask for help, but also to accept it when it’s offered? Again, it’s rooted in a sense of vulnerability. We’re scared to be seen as weak or not good enough. So, we push on, smiling through the struggle, even though it’s energetically draining us. This isn’t a sustainable way to live or create your best life.

Asking and Accepting Help

When someone offers to help you, or you need to ask for help, remember this: asking is allowed. Many people feel like if someone asks for help, they must say yes. But that’s not true. You’re allowed to ask for help, and you’re allowed to say no. Others are also allowed to say no. It’s important to ask with a sense of letting go of the outcome, appreciating that someone might not be able to help you for various reasons.

Setting Boundaries and Communicating Effectively

Here’s a little tip on how to move forward, especially when someone asks for help but you’re busy. You can say no politely. For instance, if someone calls and you’re in the middle of something, you can say, “Hey, I’m in the middle of a project. Can I call you back after five?” This way, you set boundaries while still being respectful.

For bigger requests, like helping someone move house or coming over for dinner, be honest about your availability. If you’re not free, suggest an alternative time that works for you. This honours your time and energy, and shows respect for the other person’s request.

Embrace the Feminine Energy of Receiving

For many of us, especially women, receiving help is part of embracing our feminine energy. It’s okay to receive; you don’t always have to be the one giving. If you block receiving, you’re also blocking joy. Helping others brings joy, so allow others the gift of helping you too.

Align with Your Vision, Values, and Goals

Understanding your vision, values, and goals is crucial. It helps you know what to say yes to, what to say no to, and when to ask for help. Aligning with these principles allows you to navigate help-seeking and receiving with clarity and grace.

Final Thoughts

Has this been valuable for you? Do you struggle with saying no or asking for help? Next time someone offers to help, or you need assistance, remember to ask without expecting a yes. Be grateful and willing to ask again in the future. It’s as simple as that.

Take care, with love, light, and manifesting miracles, magic, and more from my heart to yours.

Katie Joy, The Global Butterfly